Long overdue update :)

I see that it has been a while since I last posted. Frankly, it is just because it feels like life around here so I don't get around to blogging like I once did. Some of the big highlights over the past few months include Charlie's 5th birthday! He had lots of fun celebrating with some family at Chuck-e-cheese. We also went on an awesome family vacation this summer. Last summer we stayed so close to home because Charlie was so newly home. He did great :) Got to go to Disney World!

I feel like we are hiking out of that "just home adjustment time" valley. Charlie has given us a run for our money over the past months in terms of his behavior. I kept telling him when he turned five he was going to have to have big boy behavior and not make baby choices but big boy choices. Whatever it was, it seems to have worked. He is calmer and better behaved. All I can say is that I am soo happy about that!

Charlie even looks so much older suddenly. He has lost that little boy look and just looks like a boy now :( I know he is in a good place and we couldn't be any more thrilled.

What a difference a year makes!

Well, June 14 marked our one year anniversary since Charlie became an American citizen. I know this post is long overdue! We are just so busy with all 5 kids home all summer that updating time just is not in the schedule! The nice thing to be said about that is that this summer, we have the ability to do whatever we want. Last summer we pretty much stayed inside to get Charlie acclimated and used to his new family. Now we can just run and do about anything.

As I was thinking about our year in review I am amazed at how far Charlie has come. He was a frightened non-English speaking temper tantrum throwing little boy when he first came home! He also did not sleep at night and would take 3+ hours to get down only to wake a few hours later and roam around. Those were definitely trying times around here.

One of the best things we did for Charlie was get him in an awesome daycare/school setting for when I worked two days a week. He thrived on the structure and just loved it there. We are VERY MUCH suffering from the lack of structure this summer. We have had quite a bit of regression in the past few weeks. I am just PRAYING my way through it!!! :)

Charlie's English is very good, as a matter of a fact I am afraid he will be dropped from speech because our awesome Miss Trish cured him of his "prolongations" aka stuttering. I haven't heard him stutter in a long time!

Charlie's sleep is still a work in progress. He still stumbles out of his room, way too early, and most often I send him back. He has been known to in his way wake up his brother which upsets all. He does go to bed a lot easier--no more two hour routines! Just the normal 4 year old stuff!! Love that! He tends to go to bed later than any of my other 4 year olds did, but there is always so much activity.

Charlie's behavior has definitely improved over the year. While we still continue to battle the unbelievable control issues and intense desire to have things go his way--it is better. Maybe I am just handling it better :) Charlie's biggest struggle right now is listening and obeying. He knows what he is supposed to do but chooses to do otherwise. I am saddened and frustrated by this constant behavior, but am trusting when things get a little more structured when we get back into the school year he will improve in this area.
I am reading this book called "The Great Behavior Breakdown" by B. Bryan Post. I didn't hear him speak but he did so at the social work convention this year. Everyone raved about him that I bought his book. The front cover says "Lying, stealing, defiance, incessant chatter..." and it goes on. My oldest saw the book and said "well, this is Charlie". I am hoping he offers some insight to reduce some of these behaviors.

It really has been an amazing year. God has blessed us beyond belief with the expansion of our family. I would have never dreamed that after our 4th we would have any more kids. God calls us and we must follow that call, even if it seems unbelievable. Many people have told me that we have done a great thing by "adopting after having biological children". We haven't done anything great, God has worked miracles. This is an amazing boy who will go on to do wonderful things in this world. Each one of us has grown through this journey. God is building nurturing skills in sisters and a bond between brothers.

One Year Post Placement

We had our one year post placement visit from the social worker this past week. Things are going well. She asked the typical questions--what areas of growth, how is he doing, how is he attaching to parents. I told her how behavior was much better than in the beginning. We still have melt-downs but I think that is because he is 4 years old, not that he is adopted. We do have a little issue with control yet. He seems to need everything his way and in his business. I can be talking to one of the other kids from the other room and he will pipe in whatever he feels like. He also likes to help discipline and that is where I have to tell him I am the mom and will take care of disciplining. Hmmm, I believe I have said that to all the kids :)

The only issue I would say that still really bothers me is the lying. He will look right at you and lie. I don't know if I posted on a specific incident, but there is no way that someone else could have done the offense and he swore up and down he didn't do it. I tell him he has one chance to tell me the truth "the first time" and if he doesn't, it is considered a lie. He always wants to know "will I get in trouble". I tell him it makes me more upset if he lies. He still lies. We did get to the bottom of that one offense and I just told him I wished he would have told me the truth the first time instead of making up stories. So, you would think we have lots of conversations about telling the truth.
WELL yesterday he went to speech and told the speech therapist (after she asked him what he had for lunch) that his mommy didn't give him lunch today because her foot still hurt (from the surgery 6 weeks ago). She questioned him a little further but he insisted that he did not eat. She pulled me aside and was laughing about it. I told her the crazy thing was that he had TWO lunches that day. I had given him lunch at home and then my girlfriends called and wanted to go out so I gave him a hotdog and fries there!! TWO lunches!! and speech is at 1:15!!! We chatted about it in the car and he was pretty much speechless.

But other than that...it has been going well. We say we couldn't have prayed for a better outcome to our adoption calling. Charlie is still working on things like turn taking, not interupting and playing NICELY with other kids his age, but it is all coming along as can be expected.

Love Spring!!

We are just loving the unseasonable weather around here and spring break. We have tried to do something a little special and fun every day as sort of a "stay-cation". On Monday I took the kids to ChuckeCheese (will post pics later!). I can't believe Charlie has been home 9 months and I have managed to avoid that place! I really didn't ever take him there first of all, because of the winter months and all the germs in that place. Charlie was already sick 3 times this past season with colds, I didn't want to invite one unnecessarily. Secondly, Charlie has struggled with sensory overload and I really felt like he needed to mature into it enough before taking him there. It helped that I had all 4 other kids along. Charlie did great. He loved the "semi-freedom" of running around with his siblings and did really well with the game and token rationing. The girls are so good with him and it was evident in this environment. They each took turns playing with him-it was so sweet.
On Tuesday Randy took off work and we went to the Museum of Science and Industry. Despite a 40 minute line upon entering, we had a great time and Randy just entertained the kids while I stood in line. I think everyone had the same idea!
Wednesday Charlie went to school so that we could remain some consistency in his routine. We have learned that he really needs this in order to keep himself regulated. I took the older kids bowling but don't worry! I took Charlie to the park for an hour and I believe he would have preferred this anyway.
Thursday I took the kids to the zoo. This trip turned out to be the most difficult of the excursions on the week for Charlie. He did well, but tired out shortly even with the stroller. We took the tram ride at the zoo, which we don't normally do. There was a long line (which I didn't know when I exchanged our coupons for tickets) so I maybe would have passed on waiting in the sun for 30 minutes while waiting for the tram to come. Overall, tho, knowing we have a memebership the older kids said we should just go home. I heard someone ask an employee on our way out how many people had come thru the door that day and she said they were over 35,000 and it was only 2 o'clock and people were still lined up to get in!! We will go another day when it isn't the first 75 degree day in Chicago!!
Today is Friday and Charlie went to school again today because I had surgery on my foot. We had explained to him what to expect when he woke up (because we left very early in the morning) and he was all good with it. A friend picked him up for me and brought him to school. The kids did a great job of getting him all ready :) When Randy picked him up today they told him that Charlie was crying for me at school. He used to do this when he first started going to daycare at naptime. Mainly because he doesn't nap and wanted out of it, I believe, but today they said he was upset during play time outside!! He was really worried about me. It is so sweet. He was giving me hugs and kisses when he got home. The reason I am especially thrilled with this reaction is that I am the one Charlie gives the most difficult time to in our family. When he is "naughty" it is typically because he has outright disobeyed something I have told him to do or not do. In the past few weeks I have really tried to change my reaction to him when his behavior is less than stellar and I think it is making a difference. He has his issues, as well, when he is trying to control the situation. I am trying to help him gain some control in his world by allowing some decision making. He also is one to pick up phrases he has heard someone else say (or on tv) and he has gotten into a little bit of trouble with that. His speech therapist stated he is doing amazing, however, there are gaps in his vocabulary that a child born here would definately know. Charlie asked me yesterday what a "street" was. His voice was very sincere so I went with it. I don't know how often we use the word street (don't play in the street (we live in a culdesac) ) but he asked clarifying questions even about my street defintion. So I need to remember that words we say all the time, he may not know the defintion. A few times he will say "what does that mean??".
Overall, he has handled the week out of routine very well.

When all else fails...eat!

We are noticing a common theme with Charlie---he eats a lot! I have had a few instances where he has been really out of control behavior wise and I tried to distract him with a snack. I realized that this actually works! After he had a little food in his stomach his behavior turned around almost immediately. So, note to self---feed the boy.

We are looking forward to spring break. We are planning on doing a few things that should be fun for the kids! I just can't wait to sleep in a little!

I added another picture for you to look at. Jess is so good about taking pictures that most of the pics we have are of Charlie and Jess :)

Life...

Not much to post lately, and I always feel that I should post pictures-after all that is what I like to look at when I search blogs!! Plus, my camera was MIA for a little while but it has been found again. Jess took these pictures as she loves taking pictures! I took the kids to the Shedd Aquarium on their day off last Friday. It was really fun and not too busy. We saw everything, including the new FantaSea show, in 2 1/2 hours! Maybe we just have a short attention span :)
Charlie is really growing. When I look at the pictures from last year when we first went to meet him I can't believe how small he looks. He is really just another kid around here. There have been some challenges lately, but I am not going to focus on that. I feel kind of bad for him at times because since I am in special education and am a social worker I MAY keep him under a microscope. I try not to analyze his ever move and figure out his motives...determine if it is typical 4 year old or ADOPTION RELATED. We have done so much groundwork for attachment and bonding but we are starting to see some behaviors I am not so happy with. Randy keeps reminding me that he has only been home 9 months. And he is a boy. So I am praying that I am able to take him out from the microscope, nurture through the tantrums and love unconditionally...

One Year Ago....

One year ago this week we were in Kaluga, Russia meeting the most amazing boy who didn't even hesitate once to go with us and call us "momma e pappa". He wanted a family so badly--it was evident. He wanted to show off for us--show us he could put the cups together, stack them, sort, push a truck around...all those talents he wanted to make sure his mom and dad would like. He was eager to show us his bed--pulling the covers off so he could show us how he put them back on! He ran out of the potty and said (in Russian, translated of course) "tell momma and pappa I washed my hands!!"

There was never a question of if we were going to "accept" this boy--we knew from the very minute we saw his picture that he was to be the son God chose for us--and God kept his promises and with little issue Charlie was home in a few months.

It has not been without challenge. I am thankful that God chose us to care for this Child of the King. He will equip us with the parenting skills necessary to raise him!!

These pictures are the very first ones taken. Charlie took Randy's hand immediately and took him to the music room. It was love at first sight :)